I don't think that I could ever believe in an indifferent universe. I try not to use the word never because of the ironic effect it tends to have on my future, but even if I were ever to lose interest in the bells and whistles of religion, my heart is so regularly overwhelmed by the enormous meaning of things, particularly little things and little people, and overwhelmed with anxiety for the well-being of those little people and little things, it really feels like more than any one person should feel alone, and so I try to communicate a lot with the Universe, sometimes God...to the extent that I think he wishes I would become Atheist, and other times to a kind of committee that I imagine, or to people who have passed on, who I hope might still remember me and be cheering me on. I feel grateful for their help everyday. Sometimes I feel both grateful, and angry and frustrated, but I am sure that God understands complexity, because He created it.
In March we celebrated Kyle's thirteenth birthday. I picked him up from school early and we went out to lunch to Burger Supreme. I hadn't eaten there for ever. Kyle was envious of my gyros--as people always are. Then we picked up Ben from school, and I took the boys on a field trip to Les Miserables-my third time. I didn't cry nearly as much, mostly because Kyle was making so many comments. Both boys had been wanting to see it. I was happy to spend that time together. Kyle loves to make people laugh, and I am so grateful for that...even during Les Mis. He is a wonderful big brother and always helpful in many ways. Thank you, Kyle.
The following Saturday we went to Nickle City with a the siblings and a few of Kyle's friends. This was the best picture I came home with. Sorry.
